She said her name was "party"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
