Whoa Z and x make the same sound
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
