She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
