But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
