Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
