I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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