evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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