pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
