I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
