and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
