so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
