girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
