Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
