dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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