Will you blow on my dice?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
