Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
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We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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