Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
