Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
