Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee