Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.