am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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