Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Randomize
