TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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