i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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