dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
