She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
