Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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