I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
