I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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