Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
