I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A bitchslap is in order.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
