I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
