You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
