Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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