Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
