blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
