I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
