Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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