Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
