I love black thongs
Redeem this text for a blowjob
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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