where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
