someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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