Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
