I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
