I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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