fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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