Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
wanna go halves on a baby?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
