Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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