Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
