Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
