maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
