Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
