dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
