do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
