btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
