I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
