you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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