she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot