Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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