I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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