is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
