Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
