I'm going to jail i love you
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
