And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
