After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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