Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
