I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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