'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
