Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I CAN MOONWALK!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
