She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize